She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
