brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
