Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize