I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
