There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
