We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
