I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize