his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I would ride that face into the sunset
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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