trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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