Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
