He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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