oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
