I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I need a beard to bite.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
