I CAN MOONWALK!
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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