Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
