we're blogging at a bar
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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