We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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