How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
