I can tuck mytits in my pants
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
