i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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