No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Randomize
