I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
