The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
