Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Found the puke drawer
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
