I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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