I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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