He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
