i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
