As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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