I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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