it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
