it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
