Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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