I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Randomize
