He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
