I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
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