i barfeds in our rink
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
