Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
