U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
