What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize