Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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