WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
