I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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