How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Randomize
