Have you finally orgasmed yet?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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