Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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