WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
