I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
wow bdsm is so cute
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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