may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Randomize
