i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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