Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
You were trust falling into bushes
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
