I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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