nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
i think i scared a bird with my dick
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Randomize
