The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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