you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
