Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize