I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
