will power is for people who don't want to get laid
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
