Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
