I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
