my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
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