Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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