Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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