The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
